A Day in the Life of Me

I think it is safe to presume at this juncture that I am not the next big thing in the blogging circles as I thought I would be when I started this blog and I have chosen to accept this fact gracefully…so now I’m not under any pressure to blog everyday and feel guilty when I don’t (especially since I haven’t blogged in a couple of months!). In fact I remembered that I haven’t blogged in ages today morning on the way to work (yes yes…I have work now…the regular 10 hour grind…sigh). It was then that I realized that my blog was close to death and needed some CPR…urgently…so here I am trying to resuscitate what remains of my blog.

I’m in Delhi now for holidays. Getting up at 12, eating a leisurely breakfast, shopping, meeting old friends, catching up on movies and sitcoms…that’s life…only it’s not mine. Any regular “holiday” for me begins with getting up at 8 a.m., getting ready in 20 mins and gobbling breakfast in 5…reaching office by 9:30-10 a.m. (if traffic so permits) and then work…back home at 8-8:30 p.m. after which I have no energy to do anything. Sounds like a sad life I know but it’s not as dreary as it sounds…I love the work so I don’t mind office so much and going to court is always fun. My only concern is that I have no time to do much else than work like meeting friends and shopping, leave alone free time to laze around. I have managed to see some school friends…and had a lovely dinner last night with college friends at Big Chill…we all came directly from our respective workplaces and agreed this is what the future hold for us…long work hours and hopefully an occasional dinner with friends after work. Anyway it was a fun dinner and we talked about the people we like/dislike (mostly the latter :D ) and of course the wedding of the year (It’s ok if you have no idea what I’m talking about). Apparently the wedding was a big hit and a viewing pleasure for all the guests (though "my reporter" didn't report for duty...had a fever she says...pah!)…I really wish I could divulge more details but the sadly the forum is too public for further elaboration but let me tell you it involves many a karan johar moments :D. Anyway as is evident i thrive on these vicarious joys...sigh

Cat Tales

Long time since I posted, mainly because I have been busy or lazy or both. Now that holidays have started I plan to concentrate my energy on reviving this blog. It’s been an interminably long trimester interspersed with some fun and some horrifying things like Bear watching paapi chulo again in rapt attention (she ensures that she plays it when I’m around…she even comes to my room and plays in on my laptop!).

Since I’m back in Delhi I’m looking forward to doing nothing mostly, watching House and Boston Legal, reading a bit and catching up with friends, one of whom has threatened to drag me to ‘Ajab Prem ki Gazab Kahani’ (seriously why can’t Ranbir Kapoor find a role that’s different from last three?!! All his movies look the same!). I really want to see ‘Inglorious Basterds’ but no one wants to give me company since I’m probably the last person to see it :(

The sad news that I got when I got home is that cat ran away…she was always a dumb creature and I wasn’t particularly attached to her but it’s nice to have a cat in the garden even though it’s completely useless and couldn’t catch a mouse even if you threw it at her face….she is (hopefully) a good cat…stupid but affectionate…I hope the life of a stray that she’s chosen after living this luxurious life (my mom used to give her milk, bread and eggs every morning even before she gave us food and this is just breakfast) proves to be full of adventure and she finds what she’s looking for in her cat life…so here’s to you cat (raises glass)…hope you’re happy…we’ll miss you but I’m sure we’ll find another one :P

Midriff Mania

Last night was well spent watching a gult* movie (with subtitles obviously) with gultrao and roomie. Now I will not mention the movie name because a)it may offend gults who love this movie and there are quite an alarming number I’m told (b) will be fun if u guess (brownie points to be earned!). Now a classmate of mine (a gult one at that…not surprising) highly recommended the movie and actually gave the CD to my roomie because both of us make a lot of fun of gult cinema and their obsession with a woman’s midriff. So, in order to clarify that not all gult cinema was about the midriff, it asked to watch this film. It was a good thing because we no longer think that gult cinema is just about the midriff. We KNOW.

All songs were mostly devoted to the midriff of the gyrating heroine though other “parts” appeared in cameos like when the hero gently patted the heroine’s posterior and she blushes (!!). Apart from the close-ups of the midriff, there were a lot of great dialogues thrown in which added so much depth to the plot like how a family without a man is looked down upon (yes you read that right!). There was something for everyone…even S&M even if you’re into that. There is also this hot, pouting gangster’s moll who really wants to jump in the sack with our hero. The hero by the way won me over when he said “girls are like excess baggage”. But apart from shooting some 100 people (and impaling 2), he was quite a sweet boy. A bit misguided but sweet (or “swit” as rakhi would put it).

All these elements, as you might have guessed, made for a fine evening though by the end of it gultrao was a bit squeamish about her gult background. But I would say it made for awesome entertainment. I wish I could recommend it to you but if I tell you the movie’s name I won’t be blogging no more because the gults won’t spare me. Everything said I will hasten to add, gults you are a great community, wonderful people and I truly love your culture and great tradition of cinema :D

*telugu people

Book-stealers burn in HELL!

Right now I am very very agitated…and those who know me will vouch that it is indeed a rare happening. So, the fact that I am agitated/frustrated/really mad means something grave has happened. And it HAS!

People who know me well will also tell you how much I hate/detest/wish to impale book borrowers who don’t return books. They are, according to me, the scum of the universe (fellow bibliophiles would agree). They are the kind of people who should be lined up and shot. A pity that they no longer allow public hangings because the perpetrators of these crimes deserve nothing less.

I could really go on and on once I get started on punishments for book-stealers and let me assure you, I can get very creative (suggestions are welcome!)…anyway I won’t go into descriptions because I want the world to know about this @%#$* who stole my books some 2 years ago! It disappeared completely after taking 3 of my books…disappeared as in changed address and phone number…I think it did all this to throw me off track. But I found it…I tracked it down and found its phone number after 2 years (yes I am psychotic when it comes to books). I called it and asked it to return my books. After much dilly-dallying it messaged me asking for my address so it can courier the books to me. I told it the address and said I hoped the books were in a decent condition. A sms war ensued where among other things it told me that I should be grateful that it did not lose those books or pass it on to someone else (!!!). It said a lot of which I’m not going to recount but all the whole it was very pissing off apart from the fact that the messages themselves gave me a headache because of the atrocious spelling and grammar.

Now since this whole episode I’ve been having rather gory dreams as to what I would do to the said book-stealer who had the audacity to be so unapologetic and bitchy. If you have any interesting ideas do let me know.

I’m so glad I got this out of my system!

Un-Bear-able days

My good friend, Bear (as this friend shall henceforth be known for reasons I will be illustrating in good time), has decided to pay me a rather long visit over the weekend and has comfortably settled into my room. Now I haven’t spoken to Bear since it’s arrival because it slept from 12 am to 12 pm. I tried to make it wake up but it was of no avail and it positively looked liked a bear in hibernation under all the layers of the tattered blanket. Thus, the name.

Anyway since Bear awoke it has been amusing me with its bearisms which include, among other things, watching this strange video on utube called “Younis Jani-Papi Chulo”, which has a weird man singing and the background score is composed of rhythmic orgasmic noises made by a woman and many ugly men with long hair gyrating their hips to these moans. Bear was completely engrossed in this video and insisted on playing it loudly much to my discomfort. The scary part in this whole ordeal is that Bear seems to actually LIKE this song…not in the manner that you and I would watch a lame video and make fun of it…NO….Bear actually takes pleasure in it and keeps replaying it. I’ve already heard it TWICE and I’m afraid it’s not the last time (shudders).

Moving towards more saner aspects of my life, I just finished Remains of the Day by Ishiguro (much to the consternation of another friend (who I haven’t named yet) because it wanted to finish the book first…be assured this friend will be figuring on the blog soon) and it’s just awesome. I was also able to strike off another book on the BBC book list which is the latest fad on FB. Now everyone KNOWS I’m not the average book reader and that’s the point right.

Ps I think I’ve used too much caps lock in this post. You can attribute this to the fact that my otherwise vegetative lifestyle has been thrown into a tizzy since Bear’s advent and the constant incomings of neighbouring freaks, who will be dealt with in future posts. Till then I plan to curl up in corner and read and try to shut out as much as possible of the freaks surrounding me…as you might assume this is a tough task indeed…wish me luck!

Pps Anyone who wishes to confirm the identity of Bear, please don’t comment on the blog and just communicate with me privately…also Bear please don’t expose your identity on the blog…I wish, for both our sakes, for it to remain secret.

Talk about pleasing the Gods

In Patna, naked women are ploughing the fields in a bid to embarrass the rain Gods into bringing some rain.* The report further reads

“This is the most trusted social custom in the area and the villagers have vowed to continue this practice until it rains very heavily.”

Sounds funny at first but it is actually quite disturbing to think that these women have to shed their clothes in front of the whole village. Methinks that this custom is more an opportunity for the men to enjoy the skin show than bring rain. Wonder what the success rate is…

*news courtesy LB

Vile-ing away time

I just finished reading Perfume by Patrick Suskind and loved it. It’s not like anything I’ve ever read before. Set in the 18th century France, the story revolves around Grenouille who is a misanthrope, born with a superhuman olfactory sense. His purpose in life is to create the greatest scent in the world which leads him through a series of macabre incidents culminating in what I thought was the perfect (weird but perfect) ending.

What makes the book such a fascinating read is the lead character’s complete lack of morality…he does not even understand the meaning of words “God”, “morals”, “truth” etc., nor does he want to. The tone is non-judgmental throughout…never does the author attempt to create a sense of sympathy for Grenouille, who is a truly despicable character. What the author does accomplish is to make the book intriguing. Grenouille’s character is such that even while committing the most heinous crimes, the author and he are completely unapologetic and are not plagued by remorse subsequently. Apart from the lead character, the book is very rich in its descriptions of scents and landscapes. Other characters, though not occupying too much space, have been etched out well and serve their purpose.

Because I loved the book so much, I really wanted to see the movie. I haven’t got round to seeing it yet but I can’t say I’m as excited since I found out that Ben Whishaw (you may remember him from “I’m Not There”) is playing Grenouille which is ludicrous to anyone who has read the book. Grenouille is supposed to be ugly as hell and here we have Whishaw who looks quite cute. I also have a horrible feeling they would’ve changed quite a few things from the book to make it more Hollywoodesque like maybe a romantic angle. If that happens then it would change the character fundamentally and it would all be pointless. Then again I shouldn’t be so presumptuous before actually seeing the movie.

Anyway I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for something different from the usual riff raff…it’s not too long and worth your time.